is it meant to be?

I have some kind of anticipation going on inside of me. I feel like I'm anxious about something and honestly I am. I’m awaiting what is going to happen in my life 3 weeks from now. there’s no point of beating around the bush so I’m just going to tell the story, for those of you who already haven’t guessed, I fell head over heels for an Australian when I went there for a month long trip 5 months ago.

He knew my friends from the states, so they advised me to look him up since I was going to Australia and he lived there, it made sense. I had travelled in Australia for 2 weeks when I called him up and I went to the city that he was in, Melbourne. It started off as the awkwardness of a familiar face but not a familiar friend, a beer, and a walk through the park. After the first day we didn’t leave each other for a week. He fell for me, so he said, and I fell for him. I remember the night he told me about his feelings for me and I remember the night I told him mine, two different nights. But the fairy tale soon ended because I had to keep on travelling and he had to go home, which was the opposite side of Australia from where I was going. So that was that, we loved and we could not be together.

Surprise marina, he’s coming to the states for two months. To be with me, to be with his friends, to be in America, to explore, to fall harder and make it harder to leave or to fall out of our former romance and make it easier to leave. He made all these plans for “us” and I can’t wait to finally see him again. My eyes are welling with tears just writing this, and it has been 5 months since IV seen him. We talk on the phone, and I thought that would never be enough for me, but he has made me want to keep talking to him with no possibility of seeing him, he taught me how to calm down and learn to love from a distance. Only now I am starting to resent the fact that he stole my heart and I cant have it back. Something inside me has changed. I have had no desire for other men, which is devastating for me. This summer will be but another adventure in my life. I have no idea where my mind will be in August, or how it will even be the very first time I see him in June.

I’ve missed him everyday.