After the Australian left after the summer I was a mess. I was a depressed mess for months. After I left the Australian in January I was a mess. I was a depressed, confused mess. A couple months passed and I finally was ok. I finally was happy with being by myself. I knew that being with a man and loving him and leaving him took it all out of me and I needed to focus on loving myself unconditionally. I was anti men, I knew that I wasn’t ready but then he came into my life the moment I began to be happy again. FUCK.

But now he is gone, like the Australian. Im glad that I told him what I needed to say. With the Australian he was the one that told me all the time how much he loved me and he was the first to say it. With the American it was me. I couldn’t hold it in and I guess he could. Makes me look and feel like a fool. But now I feel sad and scared all over again because he is gone. This process sucks, I just have to let it take its course and let time pass, that’s the only way.

“The story

Of life is quicker

Than the wink of an eye

The story of love

Is hello and goodbye

Until we meet again”

--- Jimi Hendrix